Unleavened

I’m going to share a brainwave I just had. I’m going to share it because I can’t make much use of it seeing as I am not a scientist. The idea (how good is this?) is for non-melting ice cubes.

I’m at that stage of my sundowner (Debored’s Second Vice) where the ice cubes have melted just enough to cool the whole thing down and dilute it enough but not too much. The ratios of temperature to strength to taste are perfect and from here on it’s downhill. Helas! A fleeting moment.

That got me thinking about what it would be like to be an inventor, and the only one I could think of was Georg Gærløs, and actually this is just something for him. GG is a character in Donald Duck, but the Danish version (I’m talking old-fashioned comics here). I never read many Donald Duck’s in English, so I have no idea what GG’s anglo-double is, or if he even exists.

I googled Georg Gærløs just now but the phrase did not match any documents. Neither did the other possible spelling – Gærløse. I find this very hard to believe, but the ice cube brainwave may just have led to the first instance of the phrase Georg Gærløse on the WorldWideWeb. Never again shall Google come back empty handed.

The name is difficult to translate. Georg is easy, that’s George. But the surname is nonsense and would literally translate as Yeastless. (It could also be one of those Danish nuances I miss because I don’t have the nuance radar). Yeastfree? That sounds too healthy.

I digress. I also googled non-melting ice to make sure no one had already been as clever as I just was. And this is what I found:It’s a non-melting ice lolly. The first one ever was from Iceland, and was unfortunately photographed for its press release:

_39013503_lolly_2.jpg

But the other one is made by Uhmapko (Inmarco), a Russian ice-cream company, and comes in cherry and pear flavours and the superimposition of three lollies into one is meant to represent what happens instead of melting: it droops. Or, in market speak, it takes on ‘a funky shape’. Then it becomes something between marmalade and jelly.

A rival manufacturer has a similar product under the label NFO (UFO) and their sales pitch is better: “NLO is a fruit ice with cherry taste enriched with special stabiliser avoiding melting. If to store NLO in warm place for a long time it will become a jelly-like paste reminding a representative of extraterrestrial civilizations on vacation.”

Still, I don’t see any non-melting ice cubes for sundowners. (Those little plastic shapes you put in the freezer don’t count because they don’t melt at all and therefore don’t affect the taste. They are impostors).

Where is Georg Gærløs when you need him?

Leave a Reply