Getting smarter

So “they” came back to rob us a third time, and this time yes, they did take a shit on the floor (courteously enough, just outside the kitchen door). And they took pretty much everything else they could get their hands on. Third time lucky? Not so much. It’s been a pretty sordid five weeks.

On the bright side, while I remain mostly technologically defunct until we get all our stuff “back”, I have stepped up in the world of mobile telephony. Not only do I finally own a smart phone (and now I finally get What’s [TF?] App), but apparently the *best* one in, like, the world. (Apple geeks, back off):

No, I am not in Barcelona, and those are not my peeps. My own phone is of course much cooler, being kitted out with the weather for Cape Town, and some wavy grass instead of children playing on the beach.

So now I shop at the Apps market, and my phone can do pretty much everything except give me a massage. But if it had been really smart, it would also have been able to weigh up the odds of enjoying a night out yesterday by a comparative analysis of

1. all the user-comments from that (ridiculously expensive) restaurant in the last year or so,

2. my unpredictable mood swings thanks to having been burgled three times in five weeks, and

3. my bank balance.

Had it performed that (com’on!) basic little service, it would have saved me going to bed feeling ripped off and grumpy (which is no fun for the Philosophe either).

But we learn. So tonight I will keep my wallet off the streets of Cape Town, and look forward to a delicious bowl of stew that comes from my own freezer, and probably some dessert from in there too (I have a memory of making black pepper ice cream not so long ago. Impromptu apple crumble?). And when I’m not eating, I’ll be an angry bird on my “smart” phone.

3 Replies to “Getting smarter”

  1. WTF?

    How are these individuals entering your place? Are you leaving the door open day & night?
    Methinks it’s time for some sneaky cameras so that next time (although I sincerely hope that there won’t be one of those) you can get some nice pictures of your visitors.

  2. Turns out our burglar bars and security gates were about as useful as being protected by a stack of marshmallows. We are now fortified to the max, and awaiting some Matrix-y beams and other things that make big noise. So let’s hope cameras won’t be necessary. Sigh.

  3. Hmm. Yes. I can see that being protected by a stack of marshmallows would only work as a temporary distraction, and only then if the (potential) intruder has a sweet tooth.

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