It’s been some time since I have found myself at home in the favourite company of myself. Days and weeks have been busy and I always find myself longing for solitude when I can’t have it and then mildly anxious when I do find it. You get used to distractions as much as you loathe them when they appear as obligations. But Cassandra Wilson always manages to soothe me into myself. She’s got this voice that longs for a smoky jazz bar (where you will find her, in fact, in The Score) and makes loneliness sound sad and sexy…
“Once again I’ll search the darkness of the night
I walk each street until I find someone who is,
just like me,
Anyway. Sunday night. Alone but not lonely. I came up with this little number to inaugurate the sunset:
1 (large) part vodka
1 good dollop of homemade lemon sorbet
lots of ice
dash of Angostura Bitters
I think I’ll call it Debored’s Second Vice.
It’s not for nothing that my mother calls me the queen of leftovers.
(Postscript: mid-writing I received an invitation for dinner with friends. I did not refuse. Yeah well. Friends are good too)