Eat this now, before you die (or, some schizo[hive]phrenia)

As I pointed out the other day, Twitter is really a place of diverging views.


Which is nonsense, of course. Because my Twitter is only what I’ve decided to make it, and here I will pat myself on the back for choosing not to live in a filter bubble where I only see things that please me.

Don’t get me wrong – I am led to many things that please me on Twitter, but given my general interest in *most* things food media-related, this includes the less fun stuff of how not to die from what you eat.

Two things struck me recently. The first was how many of the profiles in some of the conversations about how to go about this survival enterprise by eating “correctly” list the particular diet/lifestyle that they follow in their bios. So, @so-and-so: ‘mom, cat-lover, accountant, #LCHF/Paleo/Gluten-free/Vegan etc’.

I know I shouldn’t be surprised to find proof on Twitter that Brillat-Savarin and Feuerbach were probably onto something when they said something that history morphed into that quotable phrase that shall not be named because it is forever tainted by the poo-lady.

But it became all the more stark while scrolling through Lucky Peach’s recent Guide to Chinese Dumplings. Especially this one:

Sounds delicious, right? Especially that fast-oozing flood of sugary filling…

Except that if you are one of those with a diet/lifestyle included in your Twitter profile, this probably reads like some kind of guide to overdosing on crack cocaine.

So the second thing that occurred to me is how utterly depressing it actually is that for so many people,* this kind of celebration of all manners of food – even sometimes to excess – will just never be joyous.

*(I obviously have sympathy for anyone who really needs to avoid certain foods in order to stay alive).

Speaking of which, have you heard of KFC’s latest offence? The edible coffee cup:


While this Salon piece grudgingly points out that the move may be a good way to curb wastage, it more obviously ‘continues in the chain’s proud tradition of sort of disgusting, and far from healthy, offerings’.

Of course, when Lavazza did the exact same thing a couple of years ago, the company was lauded for its commitment to sustainability and good business practice.

Oh well, divergent opinions indeed. And online, it seems entirely plausible that never the twain shall meet in some kind of magical zone of nuance. Which means it’s only fitting to end with a quote from Mark Twain, who opined that a ‘cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education’. Pretty deep stuff.