Do you have a ‘recent concern for a better lifestyle’?

If so, and if you are lucky enough to live in Japan, they have just the thing for you: Konogoro Kininaru Jibun-no Seikatsu (”my recent concern for a better lifestyle”), which is ‘the first ready-to-drink coffee product for after-meal consumption to moderate increases in blood glucose levels’.

The transparency of market-speak is wonderful, isn’t it? Because let’s face it, clearly no one in Japan has an old concern for a better lifestyle, because presumably that wasn’t an option.

This reminds me of a great bit from Michael Bywater’s Big Babies, or: Why Can’t We Just Grow Up (book titles can also finally speak for themselves): ‘My grandfather … didn’t have a lifestyle. He had a hat and a car and a wife and two sons and a housekeeper and a maid and a nanny for the children…. His house was furnished with furniture…. By now, it was the Fifties, and nobody had a lifestyle then because there was nobody to tell them to, and anyway they were too busy having lives. They were grown-ups. They went about their business.’

And he concludes: ‘If one of the markers of adulthood is autonomy, then one of the preconditions of autonomy is being left the fuck alone. My grandfather wasn’t nagged…. Nobody told him about being good in bed, grooming tips, what his car said about him, what he should have to eat, how much he should drink, what his house said about him.’

Gone the fuck away, I suppose, are the days of just having a life, and not improving your lifestyle by sipping a sugar-free caffeinated drink loaded with ‘indigestible dextrin which contributes to moderating the absorption of glucose in the body’. (Non-Japanese, don’t despair: the rest of us have Red Bull).