Coq au vin

An updated recipe, courtesy of Mr. Bean:

‘1. Get a chicken drunk on red wine.

2. Wait until the chicken falls asleep and wring its neck. Or get an alcoholic chicken that was dying anyway. Or get one from the shops (recommended).

3. Fry onions and garlic in a big pan.

4. Add dead chicken.

5. Add bottle of red wine.

6. Simmer for two hours.

7. Add more wine.

8. Add garlic.

9. Simmer for another couple of hours.

10. Go out and get more wine.

11. Add more wine.

12. Boil for three hours then serve (with glass of red wine if you’ve got any left).’