Turn left here

By the looks of this blog you’d think all I do is eat and drink. This is not entirely untrue, but neither is it entirely true. So, in the spirit of Christmas, I thought I would make some lists.

Let’s start with
Presents I Hope Not to Get:
1. A subscription to the new SA glossy InStyle.
2. A book either on How to Stop Smoking or How to Clean Up Your Life.
3. Any cd featuring Il Divo.

Good, now that’s out the way. Now for
Things I Do Well Besides Eating and Drinking:
1. Pretending to speak Chinese (wo xihuan he kafe)
2. Actually speaking Danish (Du må da være helt agurk. Rød grød med fløde)
3. Saying things at inopportune moments, thinking I’m being funny.
4. Getting defensive when I get falsely accused of no.3.
5. Making non-smokers want to smoke.

Favourite Discoveries in 2006:
1. Switching from freestyle to backstroke mid-lane (switching back is still a little clumsy; need to work on that).
2. Gnarls Barkley.
3. A boy on my bus who looks like Gael Bernal.
4. Will Self’s acid wit on Grumpy Old Men.
5. Cocaine. (That was a joke, mother. See no.3, previous list)

Favourite Rediscoveries in 2006:
1. Pork crackling

Most Startling Revelations In My Life, Ever:
1.
(to be continued)

Best New Niece in 2006:
Zahara. Don’t you just want to eat her?

One response to “Turn left here”

  1. Anonymous

    …that’s a joke mother…

    well at least it’s not your two front teeth that you want for xmas.

    i say that as i’m cancelling your instyle subscription.

    see you on the 25th.

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