How to kill your appetite (and other normal instincts)

Today the Telegraph posted an article called “10-minute body sculpting”, which sounds like a quick workout, but in fact details how to ‘fight the urge to eat’. Surprise, surprise. Is it any wonder that people are so bloody confused about what to put in their mouths? According other sources, the UK has seen something like an 80% rise in both obesity-related diseases, and in girls hospitalised for anorexia during the last decade.

But if you really want to kill your appetite, you don’t need to psychobabble yourself into ”control’. Just have a browse through This is Why Your Fat. Here’s a sample for your pleasure:

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Deep fried s’mores on a stick (if you can take your eyes off Madam Sexy in the background).

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Waffle fries with gravy and cheese.

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The “Garbage Plate”: ‘A combination of either cheeseburger, hamburger, Italian sausages, steak, chicken, white or red hots, a grilled cheese sandwich, fried fish, or eggs, served on top of one or two of the following: home fries, fries, beans, and mac salad. The plate is adorned with optional mustard, onions or hot sauce.’

Yum yum.

OK, people eat some pretty disgusting stuff. But let’s compose ourselves with a touch of honesty and not consign everyone who has the curiosity (and sometimes courage) to try out wierd and wacky to the garbage plate of our skewed eating virtues. I mean, does this really look so bad?

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Yes, this is the famous deep-fried coke. Sounds nasty, but I’d try one or two of those babies. They look cute.

And how about a sliver of Snickers pie?

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Sites like these are more pornographic than Nigella Lawson because they are so clearly about what we “should not” be enjoying (yes, glutton, shame on you!).

But you know what – living in fear of food is much more revolting than anything you can deep-fry and put on a stick.

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